Cosmo Ino: Hello and welcome. This is Cosmo Ino speaking. It’s my very first interview
& I’m interviewing THE Shikamaru. Yes, Shikamaru, the only genin in the exam to advance to chuunin level! And he’s
from my very own team! =D
(Pakkun comes running with a letter
in his mouth)
Cosmo Ino: Ha? Why are you here Pakkun?
(drops letter on the floor)
Pakkun: Shikamaru told me to give this parcel to you before he left.
Cosmo Ino: NANI?! HE LEFT??
(picks up parcel and reads note attached)
Cosmo Ino: “Ino, sorry but I was assigned to Project Itachi: Up close
and uncensored and I forgot that we were leaving this morning. It’s troublesome for me too but Inner Sakura said it
was an A-Rank mission ordered directly from Hokage-sama so I can’t say no. Inside is an updated version of my spycam
which will help you with your interview (hope you find someone to interview). We’re counting on you!”
(crumples letter in hand)
Cosmo Ino: Stupid Inner Sakura!! This is all her fault!! If she wants to drool
over Itachi she should do that by herself!! Now there’s no one to interview because Shino, Tenten and Rock Lee
are on a mission!!
Pakkun: What about Hinata and Chouji?
Cosmo Ino: Hinata is having a holiday in the Tea Country and Chouji is probably
still stuffing his mouth full of pork at that Korean BBQ store! I’ve already failed my first assignment!
Pakkun: Well… you could interview me.
Cosmo Ino: You? I can’t interview a dog! People will think I’m
crazy! I need to interview ninjas.
Pakkun: Ino-chan cant you see the Konoha forehead protector I’m wearing?
I had to graduate Canine Academy before I got this!
Cosmo Ino: (pouts) I have no interest in a dog like you. I’d rather interview
Asuma-sensei!
Pakkun: He’s on a mission with Shino, Tenten and Rock Lee remember?
(tries not to get angry)
Cosmo Ino: FINE!! Fine! I’ll interview you! (clenches teeth) Stupid ninja
dog!
Pakkun: (grins broadly) Thank you, thank you. This is the year of the dog after
all. So I thought I would get more of an active role this year. Well what’s your first question?
Cosmo Ino: (voice shakes) What’s… you’re favourite food?
Pakkun: (smile fades a bit) Oh, I thought you were going to ask me something interesting
like what I do with Kakashi on missions.
Cosmo Ino: (yells) That’s IT! I’VE HAD ENOUGH! Screw this interview!
(forms hand seal and points it at Pakkun)
Cosmo Ino: I’ll shut you up once and for all, annoying bitch! Ninpou! Shintenshin
no Jutsu!
(Cosmo Ino’s body becomes limp)
Cosmo Ino: That’ll shut him up for a while. Oooh, so this is how it’s
like to be a dog!!
A few minutes later…
Cosmo Ino: Crap! I just realised that I’ve done something reckless and stupid.
Oh well… I’ll just dispel the technique now.
(forms hand seal)
Cosmo Ino: Kai!
(nothing happens)
Cosmo Ino: Nani?? Nothings happening!! Nande? Doushite?
(looks at hand seal)
Cosmo Ino: (whines) No wonder! I don’t have any hands to create
hand seals! I’ve got these stupid paws instead! What am I going to do? I’m such a baka!!
(Kakashi appears)
Kakashi: Pakkun! Ah so there you are! I was wondering where you were! What are
you doing here? Why is Ino taking a nap at this time of day?
Cosmo Ino: You baka! I’m not taking a nap!! And I’m not the stupid
bitch Pakkun either!
Kakashi: (clueless) Ha…?
Cosmo Ino: Gosh, Kakashi-sensei you sure are dense. I’m Cosmo Ino not Pakkun!
The stupid bitch was annoying me so I tried to shut him up by using my Shintenshin no Jutsu and now I’m stuck as a ninja
dog!!
(starts to cry)
Kakashi: (cracks up) Hahahahahaha! That’s the stupidest thing I ever heard!
Stop joking around, Pakkun.
Cosmo Ino: (sniffs) Shut up with the name. Pakkun is such an ugly name! Kakashi-sensei…
help me… I don’t want to be an unattractive ninja dog for the rest of my life! I don’t even know how he
executes his techniques with these paws of his! I have a life to continue! I’m still waiting for Avenger Sasuke to come
back. Ah! It would be so humiliating if he saw me as a dog!
Kakashi: (continues to laugh) Okay, okay… so it is you, Ino… HAHAHAHAHA,
you look so funny in this form! Maybe I should leave you like this for a few days.
Cosmo Ino: You wouldn’t! You’re meant to be a Jounin and help me out!
Kakashi: Ahhh… I might.
Cosmo Ino: Ne, Sensei! C’mon!
To be continued…